


The name of the bird we saw that day

by BaekMeSomeEggyeol



Series: Kids on the slope [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 09:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15627537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaekMeSomeEggyeol/pseuds/BaekMeSomeEggyeol
Summary: Love isn't always easy, but theirs is strong. So strong.





	The name of the bird we saw that day

**Author's Note:**

> I have many things to say. I'll start with thanking all the readers who left such kind comments on "Kids on the slope" after taking their time to read - it really means a lot lot lot to me. I wasn't planning to touch this AU again, but I got too confident and bet that Chanyeol would strip during ElyxionDot but he didn't so here is that. Also, this bonus chapter was supposed to be some 3k of mindless fluff, but seems liek it wrote itself into a 10k of light angst (with a happy ending of course, always). So yeah, I hope you'll find it in yourself to enjoy that.

It’s warm. Maybe slightly too much. The blanket is tightly wrapped around Chanyeol’s body, keeping his legs in a prison of cotton and fuzzy fabric. He tries to kick it away but for some reason it won’t really budge, the thing stuck like a second skin around his body and it seems that it will stay this way. He would mind usually, but a soft purr reaches his ears and there is a shifting movement beside him. 

 

Chanyeol doesn’t need to open his eyes for his body to crawl closer to the main source of warmth. His arm blindly roams in the darkness and falls just like a piece of puzzle around a soft waist behind him. He lets his hand travel down - ribs, side, hip bone - and he lets it settle there. A low approving humming sound comes from the lips of the body holding his and he smiles. Baekhyun instinctively nuzzles himself closer against Chanyeol’s back, his palm going to rest against Chanyeol’s chest. 

 

The guitarist’s arm is slightly twisted and the angle is awkward and not the most comfortable but he likes it this way. Tenderly feeling the flesh under his palm, he lets his hand travel slightly lower, drawing the curve of Baekhyun’s naked buttock and landing upon the soft flesh of the back of his lover’s thigh. Chanyeol squeezes it, gently so, and Baekhyun although still in a sleepy drowsy state, seems to get the message and snakes his leg around Chanyeol’s lower limbs. It has Chanyeol emit a light satiated sigh. 

 

Baekhyun’s embrace is overbearing, but Chanyeol loves it. He loves the way Baekhyun just seems to wrap all of himself around him - the way his legs would drape over Chanyeol to bring him close, and the way he would be flushed against Chanyeol while one of his arm would be used as a pillow for his lover while the other would be too busy  holding him close - holding him tight. 

 

Chanyeol loves it when Baekhyun wraps his body around him and keeps him close like this; like Chanyeol is his and only his. And He is. Chanyeol is Baekhyun’s. And Baekhyun is Chanyeol’s. In the way that they share those feelings, it feels like they belong to each other, and there could never be a different reality. 

 

When Baekhyun hugs him, holds him like this, everything around Chanyeol becomes Baekhyun. The air becomes Baekhyun in the way Baekhyun smells faintly orange blossoms and summer mornings and his scent just fills Chanyeol’s air and he is breathing Baekhyun Baekhyun Baekhyun. 

 

And then there is the way Baekhyun’s heart drums very peacefully when he sleeps. It has Chanyeol calm down during the nights where his leg hurts too much for him to stay into Morpheus’ arms - he just goes to hide into Baekhyun’s arms and he finds solace there. He finds his own heart adapting to the rhythm of Baekhyun’s one and suddenly, everything seems fine and Chanyeol feels safe.  

 

And what he loves the most is the way Baekhyun would instinctively mumble small kisses against his damp nape although he still isn’t completely awake. Chanyeol knows Baekhyun isn’t awake because his breathing is still too slow and his kisses are but mere flutters of the lips against his skin. But he loves those kisses the most because they are the ones Baekhyun does instinctively despite his sleeping mind, like it is nature for him to kiss Chanyeol. And Chanyeol likes to think that it is.

 

Chanyeol loves this, to feel small in Baekhyun’s hold, to feel like he is being taken care of. As the youngest in his family, Chanyeol has always been showered with so much love and care and attention so he just loves it when Baekhyun just does the same. He loves it that he doesn’t even need to ask - that Baekhyun simply knows that Chanyeol likes being pampered, just as much as he likes giving love because he has so much of it in his heart he can’t help but be full of love and care and attention for anything and anyone. 

 

There’s the sudden feeling of something warm and wet trailing up Chanyeol’s spine, nape, and he shivers, suddenly feeling glad for the blanket that he can hug to himself. Baekhyun’s tongue is tasting him, drowsy, sensually, and it has Chanyeol’s body melt and harden at the same time.

 

“It’s still early,” Baekhyun’s voice is low and slurred with sleep and the way he is whispering just against Chanyeol’s ear sounds so intimate and oh,  _ arousing _ , “why are you awake baby bird?” Chanyeol feels Baekhyun fingers coming to thread through his messy locks - they are still all tangled from the way Baekhyun pulled at the yesterday - and it had a shiver run down his back which arcs in reflex, “Are you fine?”

 

Chanyeol takes a sharp inhale. It is, still early. The sun in barely sipping through the shutters and it is still dark in his room. But now, with Baekhyun doing these  _ things _ to him - taking care of him like this - he feels more awake than ever. He doesn’t reply. Instead, he takes a hold of Baekhyun hand which is still resting on his chest, and threads their fingers together, then he presses a soft kiss on the inside of Baekhyun’s wrist and he lets his lips rest there. It feels right. He can feel Baekhyun’s pulse against his mouth and he counts it. It’s slow and steady and it’s Baekhyun Baekhyun Baekhyun. 

 

Baekhyun who is nipping at the flesh in the junction between his neck and his shoulder. Baekhyun is moving his toes leisurely, caressing Chanyeol’s ankle. Baekhyun who, for no reason at all, has Chanyeol feeling overwhelmed with all the love buried in his heart. 

 

Chanyeol gasps when Baekhyun’s fingers wrap themselves around his hardened length, and there is a very soft chuckle muffled against the dip between his shoulder blades and he trembles. Baekhyun’s thumb is drawing random shapes on the tip of his shaft and sometimes he’s hand squeezes him ever so slight and the way he's doing this, lazily, subtly, it’s somehow tipping Chanyeol even closer to the edge of mindless pleasure. He's breathing hard, panting against Baekhyun’s hand and that is when his boyfriend slips how thumb between Chanyeol's lips and Chanyeol just takes the digit in his mouth and sucks at it, faintly butting down at it when Baekhyun's hand works him diligently to orgasm. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Leaving?” Chanyeol's body automatically breaks into a shiver as Baekhyun leaves the bed, the warmth following him. He doesn't say it but it hangs in the air like a transparent question mark.  _ Already?  _

 

“I left some of my stuff at home before I came here last night. I need to get them before heading to work. And I need to be at KBS at 7.” 

 

Chanyeol hears the sound of Baekhyun sliding into his denims. But above all, he hears the sound of his own deceived sigh. He feels cold. The bed feels cold. He tries to crawl into the space that had been occupied by Baekhyun just seconds prior, to bask in the warmth of the trace of his body, but it's barely there. The pillow faintly smells of orange blossoms and Chanyeol stuffs his face into it, exhaling. 

 

He hates it. He hates this, how they barely meet. He hates how it feels like they are relying on stolen time. They’ve been dating for nine years now, but it still feels like they are somewhere in the beginning of their relationships, things not really defined. They  _ are _ dating, they are. But Baekhyun has his own apartment in  _ Dongjak-gu _ while Chanyeol had to move to  _ Dongdaemun-gu _ for work purposes and both of them are busy, Chanyeol working as a professor for Kyung Hee University, giving seminars all the while still doing charity for various associations, meanwhile Baekhyun in between his trainings has landed a spot on a weekly variety show for KBS, and works every evenings as an archery coach for young kids. On top of that he is preparing for the upcoming Olympic Games in Los Angeles. To say that they are busy is an understatement. Chanyeol knows. This is what adulting is, but he hates it. 

 

Baekhyun had crashed into his flat late the previous night, announced but not undesired. Like a breeze, he had wafted through Chanyeol's door and fallen into his arms. No words had been uttered.  _ I miss you _ s weren't needed. Their bodies spoke. They let them speak. Impatient hands peeling clothes off and gasps swallowed in open-mouthed kisses, hurried but still savored. Chanyeol prefers it when they do it slow, but he certainly can't say no when Baekhyun just pushes him onto the bed and crawls on his lap, leading their bodies into a rhythm and riding him to bliss. He can't. But he wishes it wasn't like this. He wishes that it didn't felt like they were only meeting on stolen time. Yet he knows they can't help it. Both of them are busy with their jobs, and if this - seeing each other once every two weeks at best for the glimpse of a night - is all what they can have, he would have it all without wasting time to complain. 

 

But it hurts. It hurts when he wakes up to a cold bed, Baekhyun's presence beside him replaced by a simple sticky note with words of love scribbled on it, sometimes a poem, sometimes a reminder for Chanyeol to take his meds or not to eat too many sweets or chicken. 

 

They have been together for almost ten years now, and Chanyeol wishes they would share more than simple stolen nights together and sticky notes. 

 

“I brought you some apple pie one of the kid’s mother made as a thank you present for me. I stuffed it in your fridge last night, have it for breakfast.” Baekhyun rushes to Chanyeol side, swiftly pecking him on the jaw before he smiles down at him and pokes his nose. “I guess I’ll see you later.” Baekhyun leaves after having curled one of Chanyeol's hair stand around his finger and flashed him a blinding smile that spells of the letters of  _ I love you  _ and more. 

 

Chanyeol stares at the door for some long minutes even after Baekhyun left. The pillow doesn't really smell of orange blossoms anymore. He sighs, closing his eyes. 

 

_ Later. _

 

He wishes later would come sooner.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“I've been telling you to do it for what, four years now?” Sehun rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of his iced americano, and if Chanyeol didn't know him better, he would have think that the guy was a stuck-up diva. But he isn't. He is Chanyeol's best friend and Chanyeol is a pain in the ass. He admits it. “But you don’t listen to me, and then you ask me to meet up just to complain about something I’ve already gave you the solution to  _ years  _ ago.”

 

“I mean…” Chanyeol opens his mouth, but quickly shuts it. There's nothing to say, really. 

 

He's scared. That's it. He is  _ scared _ . There is supposedly no reason to be, but he can't help it. He's a pain to be with. He has chronic insomnia and his phantom pains have been getting worse recently and he can't stand the heat because his remaining lung tends to get too tired but neither can he blast the AC because he is more prone to getting sick and complications are always around the corner. He still takes thrice more time than supposedly admissible to shower and very often he ends up crawling in his tiny flat because he simply can't find his crutches. 

 

Basically, he is a mess and although he  _ knows  _ Baekhyun loves him, Chanyeol has things about himself he wishes Baekhyun wouldn't see. 

 

_ Maybe they would scare him off _ , there's always this little voice saying in the back of his head. 

 

And he knows it is stupid because he and Baekhyun pretty much lived together through college after Chanyeol got out of the hospital. Baekhyun knows him just like Chanyeol knows the shape of Baekhyun’s lines of his palm, and the way Baekhyun’s breathing slows down when he falls asleep, and how Baekhyun prefers his chicken cooked. If Chanyeol knew how to draw, he’s be able to draw every detail of Baekhyun’s body and soul with blindfolded eyes. But instead, all he knows to do is write songs for the one he loves. Song he has yet to let his lover listen to. 

 

“You have self-love problems and this is what is keeping you from completely relying on Baekhyun. You've always been like this. That time when you didn't tell him you had cancer and you just disappeared, it was the same. And Baekhyun knows it. He knows you’re protecting him, from bullshit, from yourself supposedly, and this is probably why he isn't making a step towards you either.” Sehun leans back into his chair, the backrest creaking under his weight, and he crosses his leg, taking this expression that signals just how serious - and annoyed - he is with this situation.

 

Sehun loves Chanyeol. Very dearly so. They’ve been friends for half of their lives now, and he couldn’t imagine not seeing Chanyeol at least once a week. Brotherhood, he likes to call it. But it is even more intimate than that. However, sehun also loves Baekhyun very dearly, and he knows how hard it has been on him, when Chanyeol tried to push him away years ago to  _ “protect” _ him. Baekhyun doesn’t need protecting. At least not this kind, Sehun is quite persuaded of it.  

 

“It is not his step to make, Chanyeol. It is yours. Because no matter how many steps towards you he will take, you’ll keep taking a step back if you do not love yourself properly.” Sehun says it all in a breath, but his voice is slow and eloquent and he has this gaze that shows that he knows what he is talking about.

 

Chanyeol can’t help but shrink into his seat, sipping fervently on his own iced americano. “How come you're still single despite being this wise when it comes to love?”

 

“Don't be mean.” Sehun rolls his eyes at him and kicks him - not so lightly - into the prosthesis. “And hurry up. Baekhyun loves you, but he's been waiting for too long.” He adds, sounding very serious.

 

It has Chanyeol throat tighten. He doesn’t doubt Baekhyun’s love for him - oh no - but he can’t help but be worried that someday Baekhyun would just realize how much of a burden Chanyeol actually is and get tired of him. However, as Sehun says, it is with this mentality that Chanyeol is actually building a wall between himself and Baekhyun. 

 

He’s been going to the therapist from time to time, and he knows he still has problems when it comes to self-love. Not that Chanyeol doesn’t exactly love himself, but he can’t help distancing himself from his loved-ones in fear of becoming too much of a burden to them. It's a bad habit and he knows it, that's why he is working on it. 

 

“By the way have you been to Jongdae's and Seulgi’s? Their baby is adorable.” Sehun changes the subject, probably sensing how much Chanyeol is hitting himself over this whole matter. 

 

“I'm going this weekend.” Chanyeol smiles as he sets his empty cup on the table, trying to smile and attract some positivity. 

  
  
  
  
  


*

  
  
  
  
  


The pot whistles and starts shaking, signaling that the water inside is boiling. Chanyeol waddled through his tiny kitchen and grabs the kettle, pouring the warm water inside the pot where he then plunges the dried ramyeon. 

It's unhealthy, Baekhyun would scold him if he was there. But Baekhyun isn't there and Chanyeol pours the pork cutlet flavor powder into the pot when the ramyeon is cooked before turning the heat off. 

 

Baekhyun is in Taereung for training this week. 

 

Chanyeol sits down at the table, his hand automatically going for the remote control. The TV turns on with a little jingle and Chanyeol is just on time for the beginning of his favorite variety show. 

 

Baekhyun is there, on the screen. He is smiling, and Chanyeol tries to smile too. This Baekhyun, the one in pixels, has been the one he got accustomed to, the one he saw the most, more than the real, corporeal Baekhyun. 

 

But it isn’t the real Baekhyun, the one on the screen. Although his smile looks like the real Baekhyun’s smile, Chanyeol knows the difference. The laugh too, and the way Baekhyun speaks, or behave. Chanyeol knows all of this, about the real Baekhyun. Because it is his Baekhyun. The one he fell in love with, and the one who he wishes to share the rest of his time with. The one on TV now is all but a mere copy, a character built for the purpose of the show. It isn’t satisfying when you know just how  _ delightful _ the real Baekhyun is. But this is all Chanyeol can get. 

Chanyeol sighs, blowing on his ramyeon before slurping them despite the hotness. Years ago, there would be times when him and Baekhyun would have to be apart, especially when Baekhyun had to leave for Taereung to train. During those days, Chanyeol used to be brash and impulsive, ultimately letting his emotions drive him to Baekhyun. More than once he had found himself speeding with his old buddy Django and a bag of chicken precariously hanging to the handle, going to surprise Baekhyun. 

 

But this is something buried in the past, something he would do when they were young, bold and just freshly in love. 

 

Now they are adults with responsibilities and clearer minds, able to tell what is a mature and wise decision and what isn’t.

 

And now, taking his motorcycle to drive to Taereung just to hug the hell out of his boyfriend certainly isn't a wise decision for Chanyeol to do. He drowns back into his chair, the ramyeon slipping from his chopsticks. Some broth splashes out of the pot. It’s cold already. Chanyeol has been spacing out for too long apparently. 

  
  
  
  
  


*

  
  
  
  
  


“Chandummy!” Seulgi’s chirping voice welcomes Chanyeol as the door opens in front of him, revealing the woman that has become like his younger sister over the years.

 

Her hair is back to black and she looks more youthful and happy than ever. Behind, Jongdae is carrying the baby. He looks slightly tired, but the glint in his eyes betrays just how overjoyed he is. The little thing in his arms makes a little gurgling sound before a sneeze comes out of the tiny lips and Jongdae laughs. “She says hi.” The dad beams, taking his little girl’s wrist between his fingers and gently waving it. 

 

“She’s adorable.” Chanyeol feels like he is melting. The baby girl truly is adorable. She has those large single lidded eyes that she stole from her mother, and her lips curl at the tip it seems, and Chanyeol being the cry baby he is feels his eyes watering at the marvellous sight. 

 

“Oh come on, don’t cry in front of he.” Seulgi teasingly rolls her eyes. “You’re ugly when you cry, you’re going to scare her.” She takes Chanyeol by the end and she is about to pull him into the apartment when suddenly, arms wrap themselves around her and she finds herself engulfed into Chanyeol’s embrace. 

 

And she melts into it. It’s been a long time since they saw each other, and despite how much they tease each other, Chanyeol is her very dear brother figure, and the one who helped her out when she was going through the darkest moments of her life. and she knows she’s been there for Chanyeol too. And she’s still there. He is still there too. 

 

“Baekhyun didn’t come with you?” Jongdae’s voice speaks p in the background. Selgi feels Chanyeol tensing slightly in her arms, before he exhales - like a wistful sigh.

 

“He is busy. We haven't talked much in the past few days, but I think he is in Taereung right now.”

 

“This thing really is a prison.” JOngdae rolls his eyes as he walks to where the baby carpet is, setting his baby girl on it and sitting by her side. “I can’t believe he is still keeping up with archery after all these years. This shit is draining.” 

 

“It’s his passion.” Chanyeol shrugs, and there is a smile that settles itself on his lips.

 

It’s the truth. During all these years, Chanyeol has been by Baekhyun's side, supporting him in all his achievements, and there is nothing more beautiful than Baekhyun holding the bow, back straight and string pressed against his lips, and the smile that comes afterwards when he has hit the target.

 

“Indeed.” Jongdae shrugs, but he seems slightly preoccupied by the matter.  

 

Chanyeol tries not to dwell on it too much and Seulgi leading him to the sofa is a great way to occupy his mind. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Chanyeol walks into the balcony where Seulgi is sitting, looking small in the way she is curled onto herself, shielding her body from the cold. The smoke of her cigarette is dancing through the air, like a toxic snake lurking for a pray. Chanyeol watches her, the way her long fingers hold the tube of nicotine, and how her eyes are slightly lidded as she stares into the night. It’s a bad habit Seulgi has caught, after she dropped out of college. 

 

“I’m trying to stop, for her.” She hums, tilting her head in the general direction of the lounge where Jongdae fell asleep on the floor next to their daughter. She processes to rush her half finished against the ashtray. She knows that it is bad for Chanyeol’s lung, and for hers too, but that’s another matteR. Hurting yourself is one thing, but damaging other’s health around you isn’t something she is keen on. 

 

“I’m sure Jongdae keeps scolding you.” Chanyeol smiles, still so fond of the couple, and then proceeds to take a seat beside her.

 

“He does love me.” She smiles this gummy smile of hers that has her eyes turning into little crescents. 

 

“Lucky, lucky.” Chanyeol chants, flicking her forehead gently. 

 

She punches him onto the ribs. “You’ve got a whole Byun Baekhyun for yourself. You’re quite lucky too.” 

 

Chanyeol hugs himself, letting his back rest against the window bay, his stool creaking squeaking under his weight. 

 

“Yeah.” He breathes, and in the cold night, there is a very faint puff of condensation that escapes from his lips. 

 

There is a prolonged silence, and Chanyeol can feel Seulgi’s eyes on him. He says nothing though, he knows she will speak. And she does.

 

“Tell me what’s on your mind sunshine.” She lets her head rest on his shoulder and he feels a tenth of the pressure built in them fade away just by the support she is giving him.

 

“There’s nothing to say, really.”

 

“Really?” It can be heard in her voice that she raises an eyebrow at his modesty. “Something tells me you’re not being quite honest.”

 

Chanyeol lets out a low chuckle, and Seulgi’s head leaves his shoulder to take an intrigued look at him.

 

“I guess that’s my problem. I’m never honest enough when it comes to my own troubles.”

 

“So you figured out.” Seulgi smiles, and Chanyeol startles. He gives her a look and she goes to pinch his cheek, pulling at it harder than necessary and bringing Chanyeol’s eyes to water. 

 

“That hurts, you witch bear.” He swats her hand away but instead she goes to bite his shoulder. 

 

“No but really, you’ve always done that. Whenever you were having troubles you would hide yourself.” Her hands are threading through Chanyeol’s locks. they are long - he always kept it that way after it grew back after his chemotherapy. Baekhyun’s likes it this way, and Chanyeol likes it the most when Baekhyun plays with it. For nothing in the world would he cut it, as long as Baekhyun keeps playing with it. He gently takes Seulgi’s hand and holds it, feeling slight discomfort. This is his and Baekhyun’s thing. She seems to understand, for she says nothing and squeezes his hand back. 

 

“You know how they say birds hide to die, right?” She’s staring at him, like, properly  _ staring.  _ And Chanyeol knows that she knows. She knows it all without him having to say anything in the least. She saw the hummingbird on Baekhyun’s neck - she is close to Baekhyun too. They must have talked. they became so close, when Chanyeol had been admitted to the hospital to treat his lung cancer. 

 

She takes him in his arms, because she can see how small he is becoming, how he is curling onto himself and how he is certainly saying words of hate to himself in his head. Self-doubt, self-hatred, lack of self-confidence. She knows all the demons haunting Chanyeol very very well. So she takes him in her arms and hugs him, tight. Tight. Burying his face in her chest and letting his fingers claw at the small of his back and he breathes deeply, trying to calm down while she rubs his back and hums to him.

 

“Baekhyun isn’t like Yoora. She was a bitch, still kinda is. You, you are marvellous Chanyeol. And so is Baekhyun. And he loves you. More than anything. You know, I used to be jealous of the way he looked at you, back when you two still weren't together. It was so obvious, how much he loved and still loves you, it hurts. I’m so jealous.” 

 

and Chanyeol can’t help but chuckle. He feels sad and he misses Baekhyun like hell, but he can’t help but laugh for some reason. And Seulgi soon starts laughing with him too, and they have no idea what’s going on with them and Chanyeol’s problems are still there - his demons are still there - but he can see the light. He thinks that he can do it. For Baekhyun, he can do anything and everything. 

  
  
  
  
  


*

  
  
  
  
  


It’s been a while, longer than usual. It’s late and Chanyeol is already in his bed, fighting to find sleep. There is sound, a lot of sound, and then there is something warm slipping into his bed and arms wrap themselves around him. He is caught prisoner, but for nothing would he ever try to escape from this prison. Instead, he rolls closer to his abductor. Because Baekhyun stole him. Baekhyun stole his love and mind and sanity - but Chanyeol is way more than fine with that, willing to give more and more and more.

 

“Oh god, I missed you so much.” Baekhyun moans as Chanyeol has rolled over him and is pressing kisses down the side of his neck, right on his hummingbird tattoo.

 

“That’s me.” Chanyeol breathes there, against the skin, making Baekhyun shiver, and the archer hits his buttocks, snorting at his stupid joke. he’s been making the same for almost ten years now. “I missed you too, my angel.”

 

“Wah, are we getting this cheesy, really?” Baekhyun half-chuckles half-pants as Chanyeol busies himself kissing down his chest, one finger playing with his nipple.

 

Baekhyun is naked already - he has taken this habit of slipping naked into Chanyeol’s bed. Most of the time, his boyfriend would still be up when he would come, and his appearance would lead to more. And on the nights when Chanyeol was already fast asleep, Baekhyun would always spend some good time watching his lover sleep, playing with his hair and braiding it gently. 

 

Chanyeol is hovering above Baekhyun, and the way he is looking down at him means everything. He doesn’t have to speak - and Baekhyun doesn’t ask him. His hand reaches for Chanyeol’s face, cupping it, and he looks at him too, in this same way that needs to words. Then he slides his arms around Chanyeol’s shoulders and brings him down, the guitarist hiding his face in the crook of Baekhyun neck, lying there silently, breathing deeply - breathing Baekhyun. 

 

And they stay like this for a long while, hugging and listening to each other’s heartbeat. Most of the time when they meet, during the night, they d not speak. They let their bodies do the speaking. Eventually, Chanyeol’s body moves above Baekhyun's and he slides into him, gente, unhurried, Baekhyun still hugging him suffocatingly close. And they pant and moan together, and Baekhyun’s lips seek for Chanyeol like a sunflower seeks for the sunrays and Chanyeol gladly gives in as their body moves and they seek for pleasure from each other. Their love speaks more word than any language can hold, and right there like this, with Baekhyun in his arms and him in Baekhyun’s arms as they make sweet sweet sweet love, Chanyeol feels like this is just perfect, and that’s how things should be. Perfect. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Perfection is something very ephemere and subjective, and Chanyeol is reminded of this when the next morning he wakes up to a cold bed, and a sticky note replacing the body of his lover next to him. Words of his lover’s favorite song scribbled on the paper - he could hear Baekhyun’s voice whispering the tune to him in his ear. For he does it so often, and Chanyeol might be in love with this part of Baekhyun too.

 

“ _ So needless to say I'm all odds and ends _

_ But I’ll be stumbling away _

_ Slowly learning that life is okay _

_ Say after me _

_ It’s better to be safe than sorry”  _

 

Chanyeol gets up and goes to paste the sticky note on his fridge, where he keeps all the other notes Baekhyun has left him through the years. His fingers travel above them and he sighs. Today, he should settle things. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s raining. It’s funny how it is raining when it rarely rains mid-December. It’s cold and he curls onto himself more, trying to hide under the little shelter next to the building’s entrance door. She won’t open when he rings, so he knows he needs to wait for her there, catch her when she comes back from work. There is music playing in his ears, and it helps him calm down. Just a bit, but it’s enough. He needs to keep some tense nerves for the conversation that is about to come - just to make sure that everything is said.

 

Almost an hour passes before she arrives. She looks at him with wide eyes, although she tries to keep her expression blank, shielded under her yellow umbrella. Chanyeol bows his head at her when their eyes meet, she doesn’t return the gesture but walks closer to him. He can clearly hear her sigh while her heels hit the ground, powerful and menacing. It scares him a bit, but he tries to convince himself that this is fine, that things will be fine. 

 

“You’re making a show of yourself.” She breathes with fatigue in her voice.

 

Chanyeol looks up at her, still crouched on the ground. He pulls his earbuds out from his ears, turning his iPod in his pocket off. 

 

“We need to talk.” He says simply, slowly getting up. His stump hurts slightly - the position he was in wasn’t the most recommended, but he is fine. 

 

“I guess we do.” She simply whispers as she taps her key against the keypad and the door rings open. 

 

Chanyeol follows her inside. He’s been in Yoora’s building only once, for Chuseok, when their parents had declared that they should celebrate there since Yoora had just moved in. It’s not very big, and the building is kind of run down, but the flat is luminous enough and apparently it was renovated recently when Yoora moved in. 

 

She mentions him to take a sit, but he doesn’t and she doesn’t bother further, taking on herself. She places her elbow on the table and plops her chin in her palm, looking like she doesn’t really want to be there, and she certainly doesn't, but she taking it upon herself.

 

“You hate me, don’t you?” Chanyeol asks it as a question, but it’s more of a statement, really. Although he does have some hope, somewhere. They used to get along, before he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. 

 

“I do, I won’t lie.” Yoora says with a sigh, setting her hands in her lap, braiding her fingers together. She looks down at them. “You’re my little brother and I wish I don’t, but I can’t help having this bitter feeling in my chest whenever it comes to you.” She smiles and her eyes travel up. They look slightly humid, but that’s all, her face gives nothing else.

 

Chanyeol just watches her with a tight heart and clenched jaw. He won’t cry though. He certainly won’t. 

 

“I tell myself it isn’t right to hate you, but it  _ is  _ because of you that my life is the way it is now. In this country, if you don’t graduate from the best college, you don’t get into the best companies. It’s as simple as that. Your cancer took away my opportunities and wasted all the hard work I had poured into getting into this college, and now I am bound to doing office work for a second-hand company until the day I find a husband well-off that would accept marrying me. That’s how our society is. I didn’t want to be this kind of woman that has to rely on a man, but because of you-”

 

“It isn't . Because of me it isn’t.” Chanyeol tries to stay calm. He actually is. 

 

Having his older sister here, in front of him, saying all of this, pouring her heart and hatred out, Chanyeol realizes. He realizes what Sehun and Seulgi meant, when they said he should talk to Yoora. This is eye-opening. He knows it, he knows that he shouldn’t be blamed for all that happened to his family. Cancer chose him, but he didn’t chose it. He fought it away, he did all his best to make his family happy despite the misery he was bringing. He worked hard, harder than any person that doesn’t know what living with a disability means. He has achieved things for himself, and for his family, and for Baekhyun. He isn’t to blame for anything. 

 

“Say it, that it isn’t because of me, Yoora.”

 

She looks at him, her eyes wet. Her lips are pressed into a thin line. 

 

“You’ve worked hard, but so did I. Don’t discredit me. If you want to blame something, blame cancer, but don’t blame me. I had it hard too, and I still do.” Chanyeol feels his eyes stinging but he blinks and it goes away, only the frustration left. 

 

He can see it. How he blamed himself too, but it was all ridiculous. He had done nothing nothing nothing wrong. 

 

“I guess it isn’t.” She’s smiling bitterly, and not looking into his eyes as she admits it. “I know it isn’t, I know, but can’t you let me at least have something to hate for the way I turned out?”

 

“Sis, you only have yourself to blame for that, and no one else. But those words are harsh, however, you’re the one who’s being harsh on yourself. Look at you. You’re a strong, independent and successful woman working for one of the biggest broadcasting station of the country. Sure, you might not be the anchorwoman you used to dream of, but nothing it set in stone. You’ve stopped trying, Yoora, and instead chose to hate because it is simpler. And for years, I thought you were right, I thought I was the one to blame. But I came to realization that we have no one but ourselves to blame when we fail to achieve our goals. Some misfortunes might come out way - cancer came my way and almost killed me twice - but I didn’t let that come in the way with my goals. It did change them, but in the long haul, I am the winner.”

 

She’s crying, With her face buried into her palms, she is sobbing hard. And Chanyeol knows she wishes he wouldn’t see her like this so he doesn’t stare. Simply gives her his pack of tissues and looks away. 

 

“It’s been hard for you Yoora, I know, and I am truly sorry about that. It has been hard on all of us. But all of us are happy now. I wish you could be too.”

 

She says nothing. But he doesn’t really need her to say anything. He said and heard what he wanted. Quietly, he leaves her flat and returns to walk under the rain - but the rain has stopped. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


*

  
  
  
  
  


Baekhyun was supposed to come last night but his schedule was changed last minute. Now Chanyeol is staring at his boyfriend’s SMS telling him that his training in Taereung is starting earlier than planned and that he is already there. 

 

With a sigh, Chanyeol gets up from the bed after having blindly fumbled under his bed to find his prosthesis. He really needs to learn how to be more tidy. But he doesn’t really have the heart for it. He was waiting for Baekhyun last night after having prepared his favorite chicken  _ juk.  _ But he seems to have fallen asleep while waiting and now the porridge is still on the table and a layer of solidified fat has formed on top. Chanyeol picks the pot up and sets it on the stove. While the porridge slowly heats up, he stares at the fridge, where Baekhyun’s sticky notes are. 

 

There are a lot. Chanyeol accumulated them during all the years they have spent together, along with some pieces of newspaper articles featuring his boyfriend’s achievements, and some pictures of the both of them, and some with Mongryeong now. 

 

Time has passed, and a lot of things are gone. Mongryeong left them three years ago after a bad case of pneumonia, while Django was vandalized five years ago and Chanyeol gave up and restoring him. Lady Swing is still there, but she is buried under Chanyeol’s bed back at his mother’s house. Time passes and takes away things from people. 

 

Time has passed since he met Baekhyun, and the realization o it fills Chanyeol with a sudden wave of panic. 

 

Years ago, they were different. Years ago, Chanyeol was as insecure when it came to himself and how his condition affected people around him, but he also used to think less, act more impulsively. Years ago he would have never let anything come in between him and Baekhyun. He would drive on Django every day after stay for hours to watch Baekhyun in the archery room. Despite the bad weather, despite the pain in his stump, despite how uncomfortable Django actually was. Chanyeol had danced with Baekhyun in gay bar despite the pain in his body, and he had fought a damned cancer just to keep being with Baekhyun. 

  
  


Thinking can be good, but sometimes you gotta be bold. 

 

And there is this crippling feeling of anxiety in his chest, like thousand of little alarms calling for him to go see Baekhyun or else he’ll just have a break down. He can feel it. His chest is so heavy it's like there is a river that is flowing through it and it is about to come out of his bed anytime soon if he doesn't tend to the sadness that is currently raining inside of his heart. 

 

He isn't really thinking anymore, he realizes as he he is already taking seat on his motorcycle. He's acting on instincts, he is being impulsive and rash and childish. He is back to being the Chanyeol he was ten years ago, when he fell for Baekhyun oh so badly. 

 

He wants to see him. 

 

Baekhyun Baekhyun Baekhyun Baekhyun  _ Baekhyun.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Baekhyun comes out just seconds after Chanyeol sent the text saying he is there. His cheeks are flushed and he is sweaty, the cold winter air makes him shiver as he runs up to Chanyeol.

 

“You came to see me.” He gasps softly as he stares at Chanyeol in wonder. His fringe got too long, it’s falling into his eyes. It has been doing so for a little while now and Chanyeol got used to it, so he is always prepared.

 

He takes out the pins that he always keeps in his coat’s pocket. Thy are butterfly shaped and look ridiculous, but Baekhyun finds them cute, and his boyfriend is certainly adorable when he wears them. Gently, Chanyeol threads his fingers into Baekhyun’s hair and proceeds to comb them back and set the butterfly hair pins into his hair. Seven of them. Just like Baekhyun’s seven freckles. Seven is Chanyeol’s favorite number. 

 

When he’s done, Baekhyun beams at him. He looks really ridiculously adorable with his banggs held back like this. Chanyeol doesn’t think when he leans in to press a kiss on his exposed forehead. He doesn’t need to.

 

“I bought chicken!” Chanyeol waves the bag at Baekhyun, but he is feeling quite shy. Anxiety is still there, nipping at the back of his mind. What if he is bothering Baekhyun? 

 

“That's nostalgic.” Baekhyun says softly, his eyes travelling from the back, then back to Chanyeol. 

 

“I wish I still had my buddy Django, I'd give you a scare my driving the both of us down a slope and then I'd stop and we would kiss maybe.” Chanyeol says in a breath, voice low, cheeks dusted with pink. 

 

Baekhyun replies as softly, “I can still kiss you if you want.” 

 

“I’d like that. A lot.”

 

And they kiss, just as softly as they are. Baekhyun’s hand caresses Chanyeol’s nape before he gets on his tippy toes, and Chanyeol helps him, holding him steady by the waist. Their lips meet, at first just feeling each other. They move like a feather tickling skin, tender and shy caress while they hum and breathe each other in. Then Baekhyun catches Chanyeol’s lower lip with his teeth and gives them a very soft bite, teeth digging gently into the flesh. It’s addictive, the way Chanyeol reacts, with a husky gasp, and how his fingers dig into Baekhyun’s hip bones. So Baekhyun kisses him deeper, lets his tongue tease chanyeol’s, and his hand on his nape to pull him closer. They iss like this for a while, and Chanyeol’s hands are now trying to find their way in Baekhyun’s hair, and Baekhyun just ends up chuckling into the kiss.

 

“Is this a walk down memory lane?” He whispers against Chanyeol’s lips. “So what's next? You drive me to the beach?”

 

Chanyeol smiles back playfully. “We could.”

 

But there, Baekhyun’s smile withers and he distances himself from Chanyeol. It’s like the cold wind takes his place and Chanyeol suddenly feels like he is freezing and his whole body shivers. The alarms are back in his mind and he plummets down from his happiness. Reality is too often a hard crash.

 

“Unfortunately I can't, my coach is waiting for me.” Baekhyun murmurs, but he isn’t looking into Chanyeol’s eyes. “I’m delighted that you came to see me but I'm sorry I can't even hang out with you.” He then looks up, and he probably sees something on Chanyeol’s eyes because his own widen and he seems to try to catch himself back. “Maybe I can go and ask my coach if I can get a small break - at least to eat with you.” He tries to reach for Chanyeol, take his hand, do something.

 

But Chanyeol takes a step back , and the both them freeze. 

 

“No it's fine.” The guitarist shakes his head frantically, his eyes blinking too much and too fast. They are stinging. “Don't worry just take it.” He says as he presents the plastic bag to Baekhyun and he almost drops it but Baekhyun is quick enough to catch it, and Chanyeol is panicking panicking panicking. “I'm sorry for coming when you're busy.”

 

Baekhyun takes a step forward. “Baby bird…” 

 

“You should go back inside.” Chanyeol shakes his head. Gosh, his eyes are stinging so much. Breathing is hard, his throat feels all clogged up. “It's quite cold here. You’re not wearing gloves either.” He tries a smile, but for some reasons he hears a sob instead.

 

And it all goes too fast. One sob. Another one. And before he knows it, he is curling onto himself and trying to catch his breath, but it is so, so, so, so hard. And now his crouching on the ground and crying into his knees, the panic and anxiety inside of him not letting his mind see the light, and he can’t help it. 

 

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun tries to reason him at first, but then when he notices them - Chanyeol’s tears - he freaks out. Chanyeol is crying. Full on crying. His sobs are ripping the silence and they are like tiny needles prickling at Baekhyun’s heart repetitively. He starts panicking too. “Chanyeol Chanyeol Chanyeol Chanyeol.” He chants, hugging his boyfriend to his chest.

 

And Chanyeol hides there, against Baekhyun. The chicken has been dropped to the ground as he holds into Baekhyun’s jacket and pulls pulls puls at it as he tries to calm down, but to no avail. Breathing is hard and his eyes are burning and it feels likes his trachea has shrunk and he simply  _ can’t breathe _ .

 

“I'm sorry I…” His voice breaks on a sob and he shakes his head, gasping for air. He tries to calm down, wiping his tears with his sleeves. Baekhyun is there, helping him with his own sleeve to get rid of the tears, and one his his hand is playing with Chanyeol’s ear just the way he knows it soothes him. Curling it between his fingers and folding it before massaging his lobe. Chanyeol lets out a long sigh, his head falling on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “ I don't know what's wrong with me. I just…”

 

He never finishes his sentence. His voice linger in the air, and he sniffs. Hard. It feels like a knot took root in his throat and  he can’t speak, only able to make tiny whiny sounds against Baekhyun’s shoulder, like small muffled screams. Baekhyun is holding him tight, caressing his back and gently swaying their bodies together - lulling Chanyeol.

 

“It’s okay, Yeol.” Baekhyun whispers, so tender. “You can talk to me.” Baekhyun is hugging him, encouraging him, and Chanyeol is holding onto him like he never held into anyone. Not even his own life. “Let it out. Tell me what's bothering you.” Chanyeol shakes his head against Baekhyun’s shoulder and he tries to get the words out but they just won’t come. They are stuck in his throat and they are suffocation him and he is  _ terrified.  _

 

Baekhyun gives him his time. He’s sitting on the dirty ground now, with Chanyeol scooped against him. Chanyeol can be so small sometimes, fitting perfectly into Baekhyun’s hold. Baekhyun doesn’t mind it, but he likes it the most when Chanyeol is his big, bright and rayonnant self. His sunshine. His hummingbird spreading his wings to soar high. 

 

They stay like this for a while, Baekhyun playing with Chanyeol’s ear, then hair, pressing kisses on the crown of his head, sometimes losing himself there and breathing in Chanyeol. They’re hugging, and it seems that slowly, very slowly, Chanyeol manages to gather himself. He is still clutching onto Baekhyun very strongly, but Baekhyun would never complain about that. 

 

“We've been together for almost ten years. You should know by now that I won't ran away from you it you speak out your inner demons. Our bond is stronger than that, right baby bird? You know I love you. And I want to love all of you, even your worries included. You shouldn’t be worried about telling me what you think, even if they are ugly thoughts that you think could disgust me of you. 

 

We've been there for each other for 10 years now. You've seen all my ugly sides. You fell in love with me when I was just an empty shell, rude and so self-absorbed, when I was only a ball of anxiety and when I couldn't accept myself how I really was. And you've been there even after that, when I was so busy with all my competitions I was barely there, but you would always make sure I was alright, always waiting for me, always so patient, my little hummingbird.” 

 

Baekhyun’s voice is soft, honey-soft, and his lips are pursed into this whipped smile that shows just how much he  _ loves _ Chanyeol, and it feels just perfect. His hand found its way to Chanyeol’s face, cupping his cheek, thumb trying to erase some of the tears gathered on the skin. 

 

“And you were there when I came out on national TV, and when the critics and slander were terrible against me, you held my hand through it. I was going through a slump in my career and my public image had been labeled as shameful - but you held my hand through it all. “ There are lips pressing a chaste peck on Chanyeol nose and he sniffs. 

 

“And you need to know this : I came out because I didn't want to hide you. You know that too, right? How proud I am of you, and of being with you. How in love I am with you. And nothing changes that. You may worry that you would be a burden to me for whatever reason, but that's no obstacle to the love I bear for you Chanyeol. Heck, out relationship even made it through your cancer, when you were always irritable because of chemo and couldn't even stand the feeling of air on your tongue because everything was hurting you so much, even my presence was hurting you in some ways.” Baekhyun sound sad, and there’s a light pang of guilt reverberating against Chanyeol’s chest. Those were hard, very hard times. 

 

“And you more than anyone knows how difficult this has been, but we made it, and I actually think that it only made us stronger. Made our bond and love for each other stronger. “

 

Baekhyun is beautiful. Oh, he is so, so incredibly beautiful, and Chanyeol’s tears are coming out again because his boyfriend, his love is the most beautiful being on earth in and out and he loves him so, so much.

 

“I just…” He shakes his head, making a little puppy-like cry, trying to fight his sobs away. “I miss you.” His voice breaks on the last word, and Baekhyun hold his face, holds him - he always does. “And I know it's stupid to miss you because it's not like you're gone or anything, but I can't help it. And I didn't want you to feel like you were being tied down by me and to become an obstacle in your personal achievements.” Chanyeol tries to explain. He doesn’t know if he is making any sense - he isn’t making any sense to himself at least but his feeling are just a knot of confusion and he feels overwhelmed and words are just coming out on their own.

 

“Okay so first off,” Baekhyun starts with a fake outraged tone, “how come it is stupid to miss me?” He rolls his eyes, and Chanyeol snorts when Baekhyun’s lips break into a smile. “I mean, I am  _ totally _ endearing enough for you to miss me.” It is clear in his voice that he is imitating Jongdae’s sassy tone, and Chanyeol can’t help but chuckle more, tears escaping his eyes for no reason other than the fact that he is emotional. 

 

“Second,” Baekhyun kno takes a serious tone, and his gaze plunges into Baekhyun, eyes devoid of any vail - so sincere and straightforward. Fearless. “You aren't being an obstacle in my achievements. If nothing, I came this far partly because you were there all along to support me.” He’s holding Chanyeol’s hand now, his thumb running over the knuckles, which he brings to his lips and kisses. Each of the. Chanyeol exhales shakily. Baekhyun smirks, but there is something in his eyes. 

 

“Third, I wanted to tell you this in other circumstances but I think this is good enough. The upcoming Olympics are going to be my last competition. “

 

Chanyeol chokes on a breath, his eyes widened as he straightens, but Baekhyun is quick to speak over him.

 

“Wait, before you get all worked up and think that I am doing this because of you or whatever bullshit of the sort.” He has his inde pressed against Chanyeol’s lips and that shuts him up immediately. “No. This has been planned once a while ago, and my coach is aware of it.”

 

Chanyeol takes Baekhyun’s hand which has been shishing him into his and threads their fingers together. “What happened?”

 

“Nothing.” Baekhyun smiles this sweet smile of his and Chanyeol unconsciously finds himself curling closer against the boy’s embrace. “ Nothing in particular. There is a time for everything to come to a stop, and I felt like this was my stop.” He pushes one strand on Chanyeol’s hair behind his ear and goes to kiss his temple before tightening his embrace around his boyfriend’s frame. “I love archery, I really do. But for the past years I figured out that what I love the most is teaching archery to young children. So I want to dedicate myself to that.” He’s smiling as he is saying it, and Chanyeol can see that he is being honest. “And also, I kinda miss you too, you know.” Baekhyun boops him on the nose with his own, accidentally bumping their foreheads together which has the both of them chuckle. “You tend to be quite endearing too, despite your runny nose.” And he says it as he uses his sleeve to brush off Chanyeol’s snot - and it’s disgusting, but they are disgustingly in love so it might as well be great this way.

 

“I kinda really want to take you to the sea now.” Chanyeol purrs wistfully as he proceeds to finish drying his cheek from all the tears. Baekhyun helps him. 

 

“You know what, I kinda really want you to take me too. Could you kidnap me again?” Baekhyun says with the most adorable pout ever, and Chanyeol just sighs.

 

He can’t help it. He leans in and captures Baekhyun’s lips. It tastes of tears and snot but also of joy joy joy joy and oh, Chanyeol is just so happy. 

 

“It'd be my greatest pleasure.” He sighs into the kiss.

  
  
  
  
  


*

  
  
  
  
  


Baekhyun came back from Los Angeles almost a month ago. 

 

It’s finished. With one last gold medal, he said goodbye to his professional career as an archer. He still participates on the variety show airing on KBS, but now, most of his time is spent between teaching young kids how to enjoy archery, and stealing Chanyeol’s blanket at nights (when he isn’t kissing him).

 

It was sad. Like a page turned, and to which they would never be able to go back to. Like saying goodbye to their younger selves, kind of. Or maybe it is just Chanyeol feeling nostalgic of their college days, when they would make sweet love in the archery room at nights when no one was there. He kinda misses it, being young and reckless like that. 

 

The air is fresh, maybe slightly too humid, but thankfully it isn’t too hot today. It is late, but the sun has yet to set. The grass feels dry and warm under Chanyeol’s palms, but he likes it. Nature has this nice way of calming him down - it always has. 

 

Baekhyun is there, standing tall and proud as he swings his bow up and draws on his string, bringing it against his lips. He closes his eyes, and Chanyeol’s lips move on their own. 

 

Right eyelid, left eyelid, down on your nose, before he stills Baekhyun’s lips with his and hums.  _ Don’t worry _ . 

 

Baekhyun opens his eyes and releases his arrow. Bull’s eye. All the kids watching him cheer in delight, and Chanyeol smiles at the way Baekhyun’s lips stretches and his eyes turn into this glimmering moon crescent he loves so fondly.

 

Baekhyun is an archery teacher for young kids now, trying to teach them how to love archery, and Chanyeol thinks that it suits him so perfectly. It’s also a delight for the eyes to see Baekhyun interacting with kids. He loves them so much, always so gentle when he shows them how to hold their bows, and always having some candies in his pockets that he would give them to cheer them on. The kids have a soft spot for Chanyeol too, who always managed to make some time to come see Baekhyun here at the archery field after his own work. They grew accustomed to his present, and after the first weeks of feeling shy around him and staring at his exposed prosthesis, they learnt that uncle Chanyeol is actually a great person, and they love coming to play with his hair or try to strum on the strings of his old,old buddy Lady Swing. 

 

There’s this little kid who is staring at Chanyeol, and Chanyeol just smiles at him. He gets slightly surprised when the kid runs up to him with a determined face.

 

“Mister, why do you always come here every evening?” He had his little brows furrowed, and it seems that he knows. Children are quite observant, Chanyeol likes to think.

 

“Can you keep a secret?” Chanyeol smirks playfully, and the kid shakes nods fervently. “Then come here, but you must certainly not say this to Coach Byun, okay?”

 

The little kid nods again and approaches Chanyeol who leans in to whisper into his ears. The boy’s eyes widen and a smile spreads on his lips. 

 

“Hong Jisoo, what are you doing?” Baekhyun suddenly calls, startling the both of them.

 

Hong Jisoo, as he is called, quickly runs back to the group, and Chanyeol almost chokes on his spit when he sees the little boy tugging at Baekhyun's pants and motioning him to kneel so he could whisper something into his ears, which Baekhyun does. The little rascal.

 

And Chanyeol surely doesn’t miss the way Baekhyun’s lips break into a smile and his eyes just turn into these breathtaking slits, before he takes his turn to whisper something back into the boy’s ear.

 

Jisoo seems upset as he runs back to Chanyeol with a pout on his lips. “Coach Byun said he already knows that you are in love with him!” He whines, and Chanyeol just bursts out of laugher.

 

“Oh I know that he knows!” He winks at the boy, and him and Baekhyun exchange a knowing look.

 

“But this isn’t funny!” Jisso whines again.

 

It’s Chanyeol’s turn to feel like he has the lead. “Then you want something more interesting?”

 

The little boy nods again, but this time he is more skeptical. It doesn’t last though when he sees Chanyeol taking out a small box from his pocket. 

 

“Will you give this to Coach Byun and tell him that it is a gift from his not-so-secret admirer?”

 

Jisoo nods like a man on a mission before clumsily running back to Baekhyun. He pulls on his pants again, and this time his eyes widen when he sees the little box. He quickly looks at Chanyeol with questions in his eyes, but the guitarist just smiles at him. 

 

And when Baekhyun opens the box, he laughs. He laughs laughs laughs laughs but there are tears coming out of his eyes and all the children are gathering around him, wondering what is happening, while Baekhyun is holding it - the key with a bright yellow sticky note on it.

 

_ “Will you move in with me so we could spend the rest of our days together? _

__ \- Your hummingbird _ _

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Chanyeol feels nostalgic, but he also feels so extremely excited for the pages of their lives he has yet to discover. And he feels that it is time, now. It is time to say goodbye to all these things that ties him to a past he could never have back. It is time to say goodbye to Seulbin, Mongryeong, Django, college students Byun Baekhyun and him. It is time to seize the remaining day that are left for him, and make the best out of them without looking back to the things he has lost. Instead, he should cherish what he has gained.

 

The dry grass feels warm against his skin as he lets his body fall on it and he lays there, under the dipping summer sun, with Baekhyun in his arms, nuzzled there and playing with his hair.

 

It’s warm, it’s bright. Their future. It looks beautiful.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


And the hummingbird flies away.

Don’t worry. 

  
  
  
  
  


_ Bye bye.  _

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for sticking with me all along <3 you can talk to me on twitter : @BaekMeSomeEggye


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